fence sitting
It’s time to write an article and I’m not quite ready. I’m sitting on the fence and not sure on which side to fall.
One side is crab grass and the prickles look invitingly familiar. Despite what you may have heard, I am a creature of habit and not even a terribly ambitious one. The inconsistency and workload inherent in staff transitions (tumult that has made life with teenagers seem routine) has brought out the less than stellar part of my persona. I would like to yell at the world, have a good cry, and crawl into my bed. My defenses are up and my attitude flagging. The crab grass may be sharp, but it is steady and strong enough to hold both me and my temper tantrum.
The other side of the fence looks like a pile of dirt and pretty risky from my perch. I know that dirt piles can be the beginning of great gardens. After Gary tore up our front yard in the name of landscaping he assured me that it would (eventually) be better than ever. Maybe so.
To be sure there are shoots of life. The seeds of Shared Ministry showed beautiful growth in these past weeks as Laura and Wynn and the People Team have gone the extra mile and then some. And I was absolutely charmed by the children in worship last week! There were lots of them at the early service, chatting and making us smile. The shoots of life are unmistakable even in the overwhelming presence of the mud.
Today I went with Al Schon to a St. Louis Association Church and Ministry meeting where Al was awarded Licensure to be able to share full pastoral leadership with our congregation. The committee was obviously very moved by Al’s story and his call, and I was so very proud to share the experience. Yesterday our very own StudioSTL (with Beth, Jeanne, Cindy, Leslie and others!) was the lead story in the St. Louis Post Dispatch! These are not little shoots, these are full fledged blossoms.
As I ponder the beauty of the week, the dirt is less disconcerting. Gosh, maybe if I make my bed on the dirt pile I can revel in the childish wonder of mud pies. The crab grass offers certainty, but the dirt offers possibility. Do you suppose a little crab grass in the dirt would be ok?