Ponderings

Discernment is a Quaker discipline that can be used to help one make a decision. The process is simple, the one facing the decision gathers with a handful of friends who ask questions. Believing that the direction we seek lies within, the questions need to be open and genuine. The friends are not to ask questions that are leading nor questions to which they already have an answer. Through this process of inquiry, a person is enabled to both identify and claim their path.

I was reminded of this discipline at a recent Governing Body meeting and I wonder if it might be the missing piece in our quest for purple.

Although my own political passions are primary colors, the people with whom I live and love are different shades and (yes) enjoy different primary colors. As my kids move through adolescence, they are trying to identify and claim their unique perspectives and are not necessarily claiming my colors. We’ve had interesting debates on, say, the candidates for Senate in Missouri. I’m discovering that my powers of persuasion are not magic as my kids find their voice. Although I would never directly tell them they’re wrong, I used to be able to talk them into my position.

So after I kidnapped the kids and made them go with me to see Jesus Camp, I promised them (and me) that I would listen, ask genuine questions and listen, afterwards. Because our pattern is to persuade, it took us a while to get the hang of asking truly open questions and waiting for responses. But the wisdom and insights of my kids amazed me. They saw and claimed as truth things that I didn’t, and in our questions we saw new things and our visions diverged at various points. It was truly one of the most delightful evenings I can remember. Although I think I may be raising a Buddhist Republican and a legalistic Democrat, I cannot help but be amazed at the integrity of their perspectives.

Because they are my children and I adore them, I find myself able to accept as genuine perspectives that are not my own. I cannot deny the authenticity of their visions. But can this trust move beyond the safety of my dining room table? What if I dared to trust that our still speaking God is alive within not only my allies but those I would name as foe? What if public discourse was honest questions rather than diatribes? What if instead of debates we had small group gatherings?

Discernment isn’t easy or quick. Discernment does not lead us all down the same path, but the wisdom of discernment when embodied may well color our path purple.